Only Begotten Daughter by James K. Morrow

Hello, Stranger.

Let's talk about James K. Morrow's Only Begotten Daughter.

The Short of It

Plot: Julie Katz, God's daughter, tries her best to avoid ending up like her brother 2000 years before. 

Page Count: 312

Award: 1991 World Fantasy Award 

Worth a read: No
Primary Driver: (Plot, World, or Character) 
Bechdel Test: Pass
Technobabble: None.
Review: Alternate title - What if God Was a Woman? and Other Uninspired Theological Questions. This books serves as a theological thought experiment, and as such, is about 300 pages longer than it needs to be. It is neither shocking enough to be engagingly unorthodox nor compelling enough to be viewed as an actual novel. Characters are weak, pacing is all over the place, and the theological aspects of it are trite. Reads like an essay from someone who went to Catholic school and just discovered the rest of the world.

The Medium of It

Spoiler Free!

The issues with Only Begotten Daughter do not exactly spring from its (potentially) controversial theological take. It's just such a dull version of a hot take. There are plenty of books that are successfully carried by thought provoking core ideas - The Demolished Man, for example, with the theme of getting away with murder when cops are telepaths. That's a good premise! Only Begotten Daughter, on the other hand, just feels angsty - and not successfully so. We're supposed to be shocked at just how rebellious and transgressive it is - God is referred to as she?!?!?!? The virgin birth comes from a sperm donation and an incubator?!?!?!?!?!? Jesus's sister is raised by a single Jewish man?!?!?!!?!? 

I assume that this is meant to be shocking because the rest of this barely counts as a novel. Pacing is truly terrible. Events cover something like 50 years, with distinct chunks throughout. The choices of where to pause and focus are baffling - things will skip ahead ten years, and then we'll drag through a few weeks in extreme detail. Morrow also makes and remakes the same points, over and over and over and over and over and over and over ad infinitum. How should we establish that Julie Katz might not be so angelic or obedient? Alright, she'll do something disobedient. And she'll loiter and drink beer with a friend as a kid. And then she'll sneak off to do something else. And then they'll reminisce about other times doing the same kind of thing. In case we didn't get the point yet.

Off the top of my head I cannot think of a single compelling character. Everyone is the most extreme possible version of single attribute. Which of the following characteristics would be good for making a quirky aunt type of character: 

A) Single butch lesbian

B) Frequently buys things from a junk store called "Smitty's Smile Shop"

C) Odd religious beliefs

D) Supplies fireworks

If you guessed E) All of the Above, you're right! Also, here's a lesson in how not to write a character intro:

“Georgina Sparks.” She gave him a jaunty handshake. “Tell me honestly, do I strike you as insane? It’s insane to try raising a kid alone, everybody says, especially if you’re a dyke. I was living with my lover and, matter of fact, we split up over the whole idea. I’m real big on babies. Laurie thinks they’re grotesque.”

Also everyone is pretty terrible to everyone else, all the time. Hard to get behind anyone. I finished this yesterday and I had to go back to look up names.

It's all just so... uninspired.

How do you write a book where Satan is a boring character? It's almost impressive.

The Long of It

Spoilers Ahead!

This is a book in three acts.

Part one covers the conception, birth and childhood of Julie Katz, up through college. 

Part two handles her life as a newspaper columnist, her defense against the burning of Atlantic City, and her time in Hell.

Part three deals with her return to a New Jersey that has become the bastion of an extremist Christian cult.

The first part is just a whole lot of bland character intros. Murray Katz, the father of Messiah 2.0, is a recluse. We establish this by giving him a house full of books. Also he doesn't have many friends. Also he lives in a lighthouse. Also he is working on a very dull book of his own. Again, that's how it is with everyone. Flat, dull, and forgettable. We also meet Satan, who smells like honey and rancid oranges.

Part two has a whole lot of terrible advice columns for us to read, as that is how Julie decides to get her message out. There's a brief whiff of something interesting - when Julie tries to bless people at a distance, things go horribly wrong. But no, we drop that idea, because it had too much potential to turn into something actually worth reading. Anywho, Julie goes to Hell to flee people and meets Jesus, who is there giving people morphine so that they don't suffer. That's also a neat scene, but that means its time to leave, because we can't stay if it seems like it might turn engaging.

And then part three has a cult controlling New Jersey, doing normal cult stuff. Killing heretics, killing queer people, killing anyone who does not agree. Usual. 

Let's talk about the Devil's evil plan.

1) Get Billy, the head of an extreme cult, to blow up the sperm bank where Julie is growing.

2) When that fails, get Julie to heal the eyes of Billy's blind son, Timothy.

3) Billy now knows that he is on the path the righteousness, so because his son can see, the right thing to do is burn down Atlantic City.

4) Julie fights off the mob, but realizes that she will never be left alone if she stays on Earth, so she goes to Hell with Satan.

5) Eventually she leaves Hell, but Satan takes her divine powers and also ovaries.

6) When Julie gets captured and crucified by the cult, Billy, who now wants to free her, gives her a toxin that he thinks will only make her look dead. The Devil has given Billy a different toxin, one that will kill Julie.

Step 1 fails as Julie is already gone.

Step 2, healing Timothy's eyes, is what leads to Billy wanting to free Julie later on, which makes it self defeating. 

Steps 3 and 4 might count as a win because it makes Julie want to go to Hell. But then why let her return? There's no part where it seems like a good plan. And really, if you can't make the Devil scary, that's pretty tragic. 

Also, can we note how sketchy it is to put "Winner of the Nebula Award" on the cover of this book? It's in reference to James Morrow, not to Only Begotten Daughter. Them's dirty tricks!

The only redeeming aspect of this book is that the Devil offers Julie the undeniable truth:

Better to be a citizen in hell than a slave in New Jersey.

Let's get the hell out of here, Stranger!
And don't forget to read a book.