Nifft the Lean by Michael Shea
Hello, Stranger.
Primary Driver: (Plot, World, or Character)
Bechdel Test: Fail
Technobabble: Minimal to moderate (if we're including fantasy babble).
Review: What an absolute joy to read. It's classic sword and sorcery in the best way. A number of shorter tales linked together throw Nifft all over the globe - and to hell and back - allowing the reader to see all sorts of different things. Pacing is quick, humor lands well. Character tropes are used to good effect, allowing quick 'n' dirty introductions to lots of different players. That said, there are a number of truly engaging characters and surprising twists. It's a light, quick, and delightful read.
THE MANUSCRIPT OF this account is in a professional scribe’s hand, but it is unmistakably of Nifft’s own composition. This is not automatically the case, even though a given history be recounted as if in Nifft’s voice, for two of his dearest friends, in repeating tales he told them but did not himself record, enjoyed adopting his persona and reproducing—or so they conceived—his narrative manner. (See, for example, the chapter concerning his encounter with the vampire Queen Vulvula.) In the present instance, however, I am convinced we have our information direct from the master-thief himself.
This is the start of the first Nifft story, and it sets the stage well. The stories that we encounter are compiled by a friend of his, from notes given to him by others. Is Nifft a reliable narrator? Are his friends? Perhaps, on both accounts. But everything can be taken with a grain of salt. This also offers a justification for why dubious stories, recorded by someone else, are delivered in the first person, from Nifft's perspective. Add in, of course, the juxtaposition of academic tone and the lowbrow joke of "Queen Vulvula" and you can get a pretty decent idea of where things are going.
Shea plays with this anthology form brilliantly. If one was putting together a collection of stories about someone, why include the dull moments? Fortunately, the compiler, Shag Margold, is there for us, skipping anything that could be bland. Why did Nifft end up going to Anvil Pastures? Shush, he's just there! Does something need to be clarified? Shag Margold offers us interjections for just that.
This allows us to see many different parts of Nifft's world. And, to be fair, they are hard to stitch together; each are fascinating on their own, but there's no coherence. Somehow, however, it works. I don't care that much what the actual layout of these places is, or how it is that hell exists but is unrelated to the gods, who are also real, and seem to have little impact on demons, which are another deal entirely. Can one actually physically dig down to hell? It seems so! But on the other hand, some of it is psychological, perhaps?
Here's the thing: the way Shea works these stories together, this does not matter. He manages to create a vibrant world, one in which no adventure is off-limits. I'm actually selling it a bit short here - each bit of the world that we see is richly described and has its own quirks.
Nifft himself is great. He's a perfect archetypal rogue. Hilariously selfish but a far cry from evil, charming without being slimy, extremely clever but with awful judgement... fantastic. And he plays off of other characters well.
“I speak this with all gravity—without malice or ill will. But may all the nameless dwellers in the Black Crack itself prevent you from ever accomplishing your desire. I swear that we will always do our utmost to thwart your efforts in that direction. And now we must march. We crave the sun, Barnar and I, and the wind and the stars. Our souls are perishing to take up the thread of our proper lives. And so would yours be too, if you were not the young idiot you are.”
I want to close this first part of the review with an appeal to you, Stranger, to give this a read. To that end, here's just a bit of the preface.
SHAG MARGOLD’S Eulogy of NIFFT THE LEAN, His Dear Friend
...In strict truth, I do not say that Nifft is dead. This cannot be known. But for all that he was dear to me, when I consider the Thing which took him from us I wish him dead. Escape he cannot. He was a man who made some deep ventures and yet always found his way back to the sunlight, but this time I do not look for my waybrother’s coming home.
Don't you just want to know what happens next?
This book is hard to find, so I wish you the best of luck, Stranger!
Added Note:
At the suggestion of another reader, it's worth noting the sexism that permeates Nifft. Female characters are almost exclusively manipulative vixens. There's also plenty of pseudo-chivalrous condescending protection, sex being used as a weapon, and rather extended (and unneeded) descriptions of some of the women - in ways that comparable men are not described. It can be enough at points that it's jarring and sometimes feels out of place. All things considered, I still enjoyed the book greatly... but I could fully understand it feeling excessive to the point that it would ruin the experience. Perhaps I've read too many of these in too short of a time, and it's not the horrifying levels of No Enemy But Time or Gloriana. I'll be more diligent going forward to make sure that I have not simply been numbed by the worst of the outliers.
My apologies for turning this a bit biographical and veering away from just the text.
“We want an ear,” she shouted. “A nice, fat red ear hot and juicy with blood we want. A left ear.”“No!” shrieked a sister behind her. “A right ear. We want a right ear, you scabby sack of tombslime!”“A left ear,” insisted the first. She snatched some rusty shears from her waist. The blades were furred with mold where the blood was crusted, but I took the tool almost gratefully. It was only an ear, you understand, and the hole would still be there for hearing. Look.
Gildmirth, at least, almost certainly enjoyed such connections, for it is unlikely he could have obtained his shape-shifting powers in any other place.
We don't know who Gildmirth is. But we know that once we meet him, he'll be a shapeshifter!
What makes this such a good story is that the "treasure" is poison - the person they set out to rescue is awful. After all of the struggle and pain they go through, he is terrible. The return is hellish, and he makes it work. Ultimately, they abandon him, as he grows from problematic to truly evil - with Gildmirth, the shapeshifter, taking his place. Which sets up a really incredible monologue:
“Your son was rescued in good faith, and brought halfway back to you. And then an accident endowed him with a large quantity of what he had been seeking all along—the Elixir of Sazmazm. Rise if you can for an instant above the terrible pain I know you feel. Fight for the detachment to ask yourself: would you bring the Great Plague to the cities of your fellow men? Would you be the man to do this, even supposing that this deed purchased the freedom of someone dear to you—of a son? Would you make such a fool’s bargain, and buy his release into a world universally blighted by your act? Liberate him into a raging inferno of catastrophe that has been enkindled solely by your loving emancipation of him?”
Awesome!
"The Goddess in Glass" is another strange and wonderful tale. Skipping over most of it - it's real wonky - there are a few standout moments. A priestess who gets messages from a mummified goddess constantly says, "By Anvil, Staff, and Hammer" as a blessing.
“ ‘By Anvil, Staff and Hammer,’ ” murmured Nifft. “Where’s the Anvil, Minor?”“Eh? What do you mean? What Anvil?”“The Anvil that goes with the Staff in yon bay, and the Hammer in yon wall. ‘Anvil, Staff, and Hammer.’ Your mistress is always saying it.”“Oh!” The Sexton chuckled. “There isn’t any...”
Oh, there is, and it's the town. It's a thread established at the beginning of the story that pays off big at the end when a giant begins using the town as a forge.
Shea also nails the ending. Nifft and Barnar finally become wealthy! And it makes them miserable. So it ends with them losing it all, sunk to the bottom of the sea, and ready for their next expedition.
Just such a fun, light, and charming read.
Go find riches wherever you can, Stranger.
And don't forget to read a book!
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