Gloriana, or The Unfulfill'd Queen by Michael Moorcock

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 Hello, Stranger.

Let's talk about Michael Moorcock's Gloriana, or The Unfulfill'd Queen.

The Short of It

Plot: In an alternate timeline, Queen Elizabeth I rules over the vast empire of Albion and must do her best to manage a corrupt and twisted court. 
Page Count: 368
Award: 1979 World Fantasy Award
Worth a read: Absolutely No.
Primary Driver: (Plot, World, or Character)
Bechdel Test: Pass
Technobabble: None.
Review: This book is remarkable in that it combines shockingly dull and lengthy exposition with some truly awful and problematic ideas about sex. A whole lot of parallel world court intrigue that just does not matter at all. The actual plot starts developing halfway or later into the book - and is not interesting. The title addressing Gloriana's inability to orgasm is a big ol' red flag. A deeply unpleasant read. Really awful.

382419

The Medium of It
Spoiler Free

Don't read this book.

The Long of It
Spoilers Ahead!

There are many books that I dislike for personal reasons but can fully understand someone else enjoying. This is not one of them. A significant portion of the plot centers around Gloriana (alternate version of Elizabeth I) and her inability to orgasm. She tries all sorts of things, but nothing clicks.

Then she gets raped, and tries to get her rapists knife to stab him, when suddenly she cums, kisses her rapist, and weeps with happiness. Of the rapist, Moorcock writes:
It shall be told how [the rapist] almost singlehandedly saved the Realm and brought reconciliation to the Queen, to the rival factions, to Albion and to the world itself.
Look, other things happen in this book. Those who like court intrigue might find it interesting; I found it to be a particularly dry and unimaginative offering on that front. The one actual spark of imagination in the story is that they know that there are other timelines, and some characters have been to a few. Sure is not enough to make this one worth a read.

Maybe I would feel differently if I'd read the newer versions, which have her seduced instead of raped. But this is the version that won an award.

Which is straight up awful. 

Also, if you were worried that this was the only time someone in the book gets raped, fear not, Moorcock is here.

I was unhappy reading this and am angry reflecting upon it. It's not bad in a fun way; it is repulsive dreck.

Be better, Stranger.
And don't forget to have some basic human decency.

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